1. When you are angry say nothing
If we speak in anger we will definitely aggravate and quite likely hurt the feelings of others. If we speak in anger we will find that people respond in kind, creating a spiral of negative anger. If we can remain outwardly silent it gives time for the emotion of anger to leave us.
2. Be indifferent to those who seek to make us angry.
Some people may unfortunately take a malicious pleasure in trying to make you made. However, if we can feel indifferent to them and their words; if we feel it is beyond our dignity to even acknowledge them, then their words and actions will have no effect. Also, if we do not respond in any way to their provocation, they will lose interest and not bother us in the future.
3. Use reason to stop anger
When we feel anger coming to the fore try to take a step back and say to yourself " This anger will not help me in any way. This anger will make the situation worse." Even if part of us remains angry our inner voice is helping us to distance our self from the emotion of anger.
4. Look kindly upon others.
Another visualisation, suggested by spiritual teacher Paramhansa Yogananda, is to see the anger-rousing agent as a 5 years old child. If you think of the other person as a helpless 5 year old child your compassion and forgiveness will come to the fore. If your baby brother accidentally stabbed you, you would not feel anger and desire to retaliate. Instead, you would just feel he is just too young to know any better. This exercise may be particularly useful for close members of the family who at times evoke your anger.
5. Value peace more than anger.
If we value of mind as our most important treasure we will not anger to remain in our system.
6. Always try to understand those who are cross.
Don't worry about feeling the need to defend yourself from their criticisms. If you can remain detached and calm they may begin to feel guilty about venting their anger on you. Inspired by your example of calmness, they will seek subconsciously to do the same.
7. Focus on something completely different.
Suppose someone has done something to make you angry. Think about something which will make you happy. The best antidote to negativity is to focus on the positive.
8. Breathe deeply.
The simple act of breathing deeply will help considerably with removing anger.
9. Medication
Practice meditation regularly to bring your inner peace to the fore. If we can have an inner access to our inner peace we will be able to draw upon this during testing times.
10. Smile
When we smile we defuse many negative situations. To smile is offer goodwill to others. Smiling costs nothing but can effectively defuse tense situations.
